MY THOUGHTS

Love


Is it really worth it ??
I am sure it is but after you lose someone that you truly care for beyond anything else you need to really wonder just how it works, and if so why isn't it working for me. Did i upset the world somewhere or somehow ?? Did I run over the proverbial china man ?
Is it really me that has the commitment issue, I really don't think so. I would love to care and cherish a beautiful girl, love her and put her on the pedestal where she should be. 
You know I really don't think that that is too hard, yet I know that keeping a relationship stable is sometimes the hard part, but surely communicating is the answer, the key to any great lasting relationship. 
It's bloody hard when you lose someone special, there is a void in your life and is darn hard to fill. I have been told that writing my thoughts on here is lame, I have been near threatened, and just been ridiculed. You know that's fine, my thoughts my feelings and my life.
Is it too much to ask for a long term relationship ?
Is it too much to love someone with all your heart and soul ??
Everybody has been in love but when you lose "the one" it seems that nothing else will ever fill that piece of your heart again. I have some great memories of "the one" and I had some great plans for the future. It is hard to justify and understand when just one person can make a decision on a couples relationship.
Why give up on someone when you truly believe they complete your world, better still how do you convince them about this ? It is true that you cannot make someone love you, but when you lose your heart and soul to someone it seems there is no way out of the rut.
No body has ever rocked my world like "the one", I think of her every day hoping all is good and reflecting on our time together. I see where she works every day and it brings a smile to my face, makes me ponder on life and well just makes me smile.
I was told I should go and talk to someone, but why ?...... I want the happy life, I want the commitment, I want the long life with a beautiful girl- pretty simple.....
I work hard , I love what I do and it was great sharing it. 
So, what to do next?? Don't know. I have sat around the fire contemplating life and why we are felt with these issues, not sure if I have found the solution though. I look up at the stars, I ask the question to the man above, haven't seen or found the answer yet, but I will forever keep her in my heart.
You know I am not into the bar scene, the hood scene or any other scene, I am just me, I love my life and enjoy what ever is thrown at me. I have energy, I am not lazy or a jerk. I am happy to take anything head on, but when it comes to having a broken heart, I don't know what to do. Probably some of this makes no sense at all, but I am trying to make it flow. I want to write a lot about my experience, thoughts and emotions but I might be classed and judged. 
Really, is it ok to put your thoughts out there ? Is it ok to even think like this ?
I believe there is nothing wrong with my mind, there is nothing wrong with my dreams or wishes, there is nothing wrong with putting it out there. 

TBC